Talking about love

As if I didn't have enough books demanding attention. This one looks like it could be well worth savoring.

http://www.americamagazine.org/content/article.cfm?article_id=3289

I was especially struck by this paragraph from the book review:

Thomas Aquinas explained how differences in closeness and worthiness justify different degrees of love--for, say, a sinful parent and for a virtuous stranger. By contrast, Luther says that Christian love for others should be independent of their worth. The epitome of Christian love, for Thomas, was friendship for God, whereas Luther emphasized obedience to God’s word. While Thomas made self-love central, Luther considered it sinful.

I'm not familiar (yet) with the nuances being summarized here. Luther seems right that Christian love should be independent of the worth of the beloved. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us and all that.

However, there are differences of roles and relationship and to overlook that seems inhuman. A Christian may well owe a duty to starving children in Africa, but it is very different from the duty owed by a Christian parent to their own children. Any moral system which does not recognize this difference is simply out of line with humanity.

I love Thomas's emphasis on friendship for God. Obedience is very important. Obedience is how we learn to develop a friendship for God, but simple obedience is far from the end goal.

And then there's the issue of self-love. So often we hear about "self-love" and think of narcissism and arrogance. And so often we label our own narcissism as "self-love", which does not help matters. However, it seems to me that the two could not be further apart, and so much sin comes not from an excessive self-love but from the lack of it.

After all, I am the beloved of God! As a follower of God, I ought to love what God loves. And God loves me. God loves a whole lot else, of course, but God definitely loves me. How can I do otherwise? And when I recognize that, what else do I need? I don't need to be the center of attention. I don't need to puff myself up. When I don't know God's love for me, and don't love myself, then I will fall into narcissism.