Some of my friends are in the process of finding a church home and so we were talking about what we look for in church. Why is church important?
One aspect that comes up a lot in these conversations is community. We want to find our "urban tribe" in church -- that network of interconnected relationships of people who celebrate together, support each other, create a sort of extended family.
We certainly all need networks like that. And certainly it would be strange indeed to isolate that circle of your nearest and dearest from those you worship with.
Still, that isn't what I expect a church to be. I've lived in my current city for almost six years and attended my current church for all but a few months of that time. My "urban tribe," such as it is, is heavily composed of people from that church, and most of the others attend similar churches. I realized this relatively recently and I find it disturbing. My other close friends -- that circle that is so close geography doesn't matter -- is heavily non-Christian.
If we think of church as an "urban tribe", then it seems to me we have two options. One option is that it is somehow inappropriate to be this close to non-Christians. Of course we should interact with people who don't always see the world in the same way -- but your nearest and dearest circle should be all Christian. I don't care for that option at all. The other option is that my dear friends who are Jews or Unitarians or whatever else are in fact part of my church. If that's the case then I think the word "church" has lost its meaning.
Another friend of mine was part of a large church body for a while but found the relational overload to be overwhelming. After you've been at a place for a while, you've been in a few different small groups, served on projects with a bunch of other people, the numbers add up quickly -- he couldn't maintain all those relationships. After trying a house church for a while he's currently just focusing on spending time with Christian friends, and is quite satisfied with this. I have a very strong sense that he's missing the point. Going out to dinner with Christian friends, talking about spiritual matters is all fine and good and valuable, but that's not what church IS.
Okay, then what IS church? If church isn't basically and fundamentally about relationships, what is it about? One option that comes to mind immediately is "well, it's fundamentally about the sacraments." That's part of it too -- but that were the basic fundamental point then I'd be hanging out with the Episcopalians or Lutherans, or maybe still the Catholics, not the Congregationalists.
So what is it? What is going on here? I realize that I have no clue and I find this fascinating. Thoughts?
